Recovery
by alison94
Summary: What if the Department of Mysteries ended differently? What happens as Hermione tries to regain some semblance of normality while faced with so many obstacles? Can the war against Voldemort be won without her? Or can she recover in time with Snape's help?
1. August 1, 1996

_**A/N: This story has been an idea of mine for a while. I had an idea what would happen but couldn't start writing. Then I thought I'd try to write it as a series of journal entries. I've never tried it before and may end up changing. Please read & review! I hope you like it - even though it's short. Let me know.**_

August 1, 1996

I have been given this journal and ordered by Madam Pomfrey, my babysitter, to use it. Writing down my experiences and thoughts, according to her, is a good way to work through my problems, to face and overcome my fears. She hopes this will help me prepare for the upcoming school year as well as the many other challenges I shall face. She has suggested I start with the facts, so here I go:

My name is Hermione Jean Granger. I was born on September 19, 1979 to Drs. Aaron & Jean Granger – Muggle dentists. When I was 11, I received my Hogwarts letter and discovered the magical world. My two best friends are Ronald Weasley and Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. My Patronus takes the form of an otter, and I helped form the D.A., aka Dumbledore's Army. I am in the middle of the 2nd war against Voldemort.

In June, the end of my 5th year at Hogwarts, I fought in the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. With the aid of the Order of the Phoenix, we won, but Lucius Malfoy grabbed me before Disapparating. I spent a month imprisoned in Malfoy Manor before escaping with Narcissa's help. We were discovered by Fenrir Greyback on the night of a full moon. Narcissa was killed, and I was bitten.

I am a werewolf

H.


	2. August 4, 1996

August 4, 1996

Though my escape from Malfoy Manor was on July 30th, I am still confined to the Hospital Wing. Due to my injuries, Thursday was the first time I was able to use a quill. Poppy has been patient and says I am recovering faster than expected, and though bored I find I don't care.

My injuries included: prolonged exposure to the Cruciatus, third degree burns, four broken ribs, a broken arm, a shattered knee, internal bleeding, a lost pinkie, starvation, a werewolf bite, poison, and numerous cuts and bruises.

Today she delivered the news: not everything can be fixed. The damage to my knee was too great, and though I will one day walk I will have a slight limp. As my pinkie was removed by a dark curse, she can't grow it back. All of the cuts will leave scars, and the after-effects of the Cruciatus have no cure. I will begin a type of physical therapy program next week to try to regain mobility and reduce the tremors.

Professor Dumbledore has allowed my parents to stay at Hogwarts, and convinced them to let me stay in the magical world. I know they worry about me, but they don't understand that magic is a part of me. I can't just turn my back on the one place I finally belong, dangerous or not.

It was Professor McGonagall who delivered the worst of the news. It's not enough that my injuries caused permanent damage or that I'm a werewolf. Those bloody bastards cost me my education. I won't be allowed to attend classes as a normal 6th year.

I am pregnant

H.

**_Read & Review!_**


	3. August 6, 1996

**_A/N: Here's the next entry! I hope you like it! R&R!  
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**_Disclaimer - I'll only say this once: I own nothing but the plot._**

August 6, 1996

Poppy has moved forward with my therapy, impressed with my rate of recovery. Prof. Sprout stops by to work with me on mental exercises. As the Cruciatus can cause insanity, they aren't taking any chances. I spend my mornings with her going back over everything I've already learned. I've found certain tasks harder and have trouble with my memory. Hopefully it isn't permanent.

I'm taking a slew of potions daily, including Dreamless Sleep as a temporary cure for my nightmares. Poppy has come up with simple exercises and makes me do them several times a day. I'm finally making progress. Poppy and Prof. Sprout hope I will be able to resume my studies when school starts. That only gives me a month.

Prof. McGonagall hasn't been back since she told me I wouldn't be allowed to attend my classes, due to my… conditions. It has already begun. I knew from Prof. Lupin that werewolves were shunned by the magical community, and Poppy informed me that being an unwed mother ruins one's reputation. However, until now, I didn't fully understand the lasting repercussions.

Neither Poppy nor Prof. Sprout has ever given the slightest hint that they think any less of me. They've supported me and given their time to help me. The only other visitor I've had is Prof. Dumbledore, and he's perhaps the most accepting person I know. So when Prof. McGonagall, my favorite teacher and Head of House, treated me like a different person, completely beneath her, it came as a shock.

Though no one else has been informed of my condition, Poppy sent an owl to Prof. Lupin, who should arrive soon. The full moon is still weeks away, but he will be able to relate (somewhat) and help me be strong. I know he won't reject me, and I wish I could be as confident about everyone else. Losing Prof. McGonagall has made me dread the moment my friends are told. Harry and the Weasleys are my second family, and I don't know what I'd do if they turned their backs on me.

I am scared

H.


	4. August 8, 1996

_**A/N: R&R! I need to know if I'm wasting my time!  
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August 8, 1996

Prof. Lupin arrived yesterday and told me to call him Remus (that will take some getting used to). I don't think I've ever been so happy to see someone. If I was able to, I would've ran and leaped into his arms. Instead, I had to settle for a tight hug when he reached my bed. He held me close as I began to sob.

His presence has made it all real. Yes, I was aware of it all, but though I wrote it down in here it never fully sunk in. I'm a werewolf! I'm pregnant! Oh God. I didn't let Poppy kill the… fetus, and I'm glad I didn't, but what am I going to do? My entire life has changed. My problems are bigger than not attending Hogwarts. No one will want to hire me or rent me a flat. My dreams of going far and making a difference are now just that: dreams.

My sitters have tried to console me, assuring me that anything is possible, but I know the truth. Remus's protests to my thinking are quieter, and I know he understands. He too was a brilliant student, but it was a miracle he was even allowed into Hogwarts. He is resigned to the fact that his life will always be hard, and is grateful for every opportunity he finds.

There is one bit of good news. Prof. Dumbledore told me that while I can't stay as a student, due to the Ministry, I can visit Hogwarts as often as I like. I will have free reign of the castle, including the library, and Prof. Sprout has already agreed to assist me with Herbology. Poppy said she will teach me healing and let me assist her in the Hospital Wing, and I appreciate how much they are doing for me.

It has been a week since my first entry, and already the change is visible. The tremors in my hands have reduced enough that I can function normally most of the time. My handwriting has improved greatly. That, however, is the extent of my progress. I'm weak and my whole body aches. My memory hasn't improved and I struggle to perform the simplest magic.

I'm losing hope

H.


	5. August 9, 1996

**_A/N: Here's the next chap! Next one might be a while, I don't know. R&R!_**

August 9, 1996

It seems impossible, but things have gotten worse, much worse. This morning my parents, Harry, the Weasleys, and the Hogwarts staff were gathered in the Hospital Wing. I told them the basics: I was imprisoned, I escaped, and Narcissa was killed. They learned that I am a werewolf and that I'm pregnant. Then all hell broke loose.

My parents were furious at my decision to keep the child and "ruin my life." Many others agreed with them. One by one my teachers took the same stance as McGonagall. They left after each informing me that under no circumstances was a monster like me welcome in their classroom. Once the majority of the room cleared, I turned to the Weasleys.

The disappointment in Mrs. Weasley's eyes was too much, and I closed myself off. I watched numbly as she yelled at Poppy for even allowing me to consider keeping the baby. I know it wasn't that I'm a werewolf – she accepted Remus just fine. It was the fact that I was pregnant… and it isn't Ron's. _He_ just stared at me, hatred in eyes, disgusted by what I had become. He called me a whore and stormed out.

I didn't bother explaining – if they could turn their backs on me now, then I had no reason to tell them the truth. All but Fred & George followed him out. Ginny gave Harry a pointed look, but when he didn't move she glared at me and left. Despite my best efforts, tears leaked out of my eyes, and I found myself in Harry's arms. He didn't question me or make false promises, just held me as I cried, a look of utter shock on his face.

Only Poppy, Prof. Sprout (Pomona), and Prof. Dumbledore stood by me. Fred & George sided with me over their entire family, and Harry was forced to choose between me and the only family he's ever known. Firenze was there, and as a Centaur has no prejudice against unwed mothers or werewolves except a slight wariness, but I've only met him briefly. Hagrid has yet to be told, and my parents have disappeared. They could accept a werewolf, but not a grandchild.

I am alone

H.

_**Please ****review!**_


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